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Setting boundaries is about identifying and communicating limits about what is and isn’t okay to you.

Many of us are pretty comfortable with the idea of having boundaries with colleagues, parents, and friends. For example, you probably agree that intimate touching doesn’t belong in the workplace. And you might be 100% sure that no matter what, you never want to discuss your sex life with your parents.

But when it comes to romantic relationships, we often feel awkward or uncomfortable about putting boundaries in place.

Why?

Because we tend to think that if we truly love someone, we shouldn’t need to set limits on them or our relationship with them. After all, aren’t boundaries about keeping people apart?

We might also worry that if we put boundaries in place with our partner, they’ll think that we’re rigid or selfish.

But the reality is that boundaries are just as important in romantic relationships as they are in other types of relationships. In...

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to believe that it’s your job to be easygoing and “keep the peace.”

After all, you don’t want to come across as a drama queen or as someone who’s high maintenance and constantly creating conflict.

So, for example, even though you’re not quite ready to move in with your partner, you might pretend that you are.

Or even though you hate that your partner’s friends are over at your house all the time, you might not tell your partner how you really feel.

Maybe it’s even just that you always tell your partner that you “don’t really care” about which restaurant the two of you go to or which movie you end up watching—even though you do.

You avoid expressing your true thoughts and feelings to your partner because you believe it’s the best way to keep things pleasant and make sure your relationship stays on track.

But do you want to know the truth—the truth...

Even if you love your partner and believe you have a strong bond with them, it can be hard to tell them what you need.

Why?

Because you don’t want to come across as bossy, needy, or demanding.

So instead of telling your partner that you need to go to bed by 9 p.m., eat a vegan diet, or talk to them at some point every day, you decide to stay quiet.

Maybe you tell yourself that you’ll communicate your needs to your partner later on in your relationship—when things “feel more secure” or you’ve been together longer.

Or maybe you even try to convince yourself that your needs aren’t all that important or that you should leave them behind now that you’re no longer single.

This may seem like the best way to avoid “rocking the boat” and make your relationship last.

But in reality, if you want to feel happy and satisfied—both in your own life and in your relationship—it isn’t just helpful to tell your partner what...

We’re often told that relationships are about “compromise” and “two people becoming one.”

So you might think that to make a relationship work, you need to relinquish your identity as an individual and take on the identity of one member of a couple.

The problem?

When you sacrifice yourself or your identity for a relationship, you end up losing yourself. You may not notice it as first. But eventually, you’ll realize that you don’t make as much time for the things you love, you don’t spend as much time with the other people you care about, and you don’t chase your own dreams as passionately as you used to.

Losing yourself or changing who you are to “fit” a relationship may not bother you initially. But over time, it’ll leave you feeling drained, unfulfilled, and even resentful. It’ll also limit your capacity to truly give and receive love—the very thing you’ve sacrificed yourself for.

That’s...

Over the many years that I’ve been a therapist, I’ve worked with clients who have all sorts of goals. But there’s one goal that’s been more common than any other: having a loving relationship.

This doesn’t surprise me.

After all, as humans, we’re social beings. And we’re wired to connect and bond with other people. So it makes perfect sense that many of us want to have someone that we can share our lives with.

But whether you’re currently searching for love or navigating life with a partner, you know that finding a loving relationship isn’t necessarily easy.

This isn’t for the reason you might think, though.

You see, many of my clients believe that finding love is hard because you have to track down the one person on Earth who’s your perfect fit. And then, you have to hope that the stars align to make your relationship successful.

In reality, though, these aren’t the reasons why love is hard to find. After all,...

In my last post—Post #3 in my Taking Care of Me series—I told you how to amplify your motivation to go after your goals and dreams.

As I’m sure you’ve realized, though, you don’t pursue your goals and dreams in a vacuum. Instead, you do it in the context of everything else that’s going on in your life—your career, your social life, and (perhaps most importantly) your relationship with your partner.

After all, if you decide that you want to quit your job and go back to school so you can change careers, you’ll need to talk to your partner about how this decision will affect your family’s finances.

Similarly, if you decide that you want to take up Pilates and attend a class by yourself two nights a week, you’ll need to have a conversation with your partner about blocking off that time in your schedule.

In other words, you’ll need to tell your partner what your needs are and put boundaries in place to protect your time,...