How to Prioritize YOU: How to Make Time for Self-Care as a Mom + FREE Self-Care Time Hacker
Are you a mom who struggles to make time for herself? If you are, I can assure you that you’re NOT alone.
When you scroll social media feeds, it’s easy to get the impression that other moms have it all figured out—they know how to take care of their kids, keep their homes looking like a magazine cover, and still find time to do their hair or give themselves a pedicure.
But from working with hundreds of moms over the years, I can tell you that what you see on Facebook or Instagram usually doesn’t represent reality. Instead, whether they’re working moms or stay-at-home moms, most moms struggle to take time out for themselves.
In my previous post, I talked about why mom guilt holds moms back from taking time out of their days for themselves. (I also shared tips on how to tame mom guilt so you can make time for yourself WITHOUT feeling guilty.)
However, in that post, I also briefly mentioned another major barrier to self-care for moms: time.
After all, when you’re spending your days feeding your kids, chauffeuring them around town, working a job, and taking care of your home, it’s hard to find time that’s just for YOU.
But as I mentioned recently, self-care isn’t optional for moms. In fact, self-care is arguably even more important when you’re a mom because it makes you the happiest and healthiest caregiver for your kids.
I know what you’re thinking, though:
“Vera, I know that self-care is important. And when I’m buried knee deep in toys, laundry, or dirty dishes, I’d do just about anything to get a break. But HOW do I do it? How do I find time for myself when I don’t have any time to begin with?”
Well, you’re in luck!
Because in this post, I’m going to share my most practical tips for making time for self-care when you’re a mom.
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Here they are:
Change Your Mindset
Before you try to carve out time for self-care as a mom, it’s helpful to change your mindset about time and self-care. Why? Because just having a negative mindset about self-care can make it really difficult to actually find the pockets of time that already exist in your life (or to create them).
For example, if you constantly think “I have no time,” you might not even bother to reflect on how you use your time during the week and figure out how to carve out time for yourself. On the other hand, if you think “I can find time,” you’re more likely to identify pockets of time in your week that you can use for self-care or to take steps to create these pockets.
The same goes for your mindset about what self-care is or what it should look like. Specifically, if you think that self-care always has to mean finding hours during the day to go to the spa, have a leisurely lunch with a friend, or soak in the tub, you might conclude that trying to make time for yourself is hopeless. But if you instead recognize that making even 5, 15, or 30 minutes for yourself here and there is rejuvenating and beneficial, you’re more likely to believe that “me time” is within your reach. And when you think that making time for yourself is feasible, you’re more likely to actually do it.
So when you’re trying to make time for yourself as a mom, start by adopting a more positive and flexible mindset about the time you have and what self-care can look like.
Streamline Chores
Some people find chores to be therapeutic. For example, I’ve worked with clients who find it soothing to fold laundry or feel incredibly productive when they vacuum the living room floor.
But for the rest of us, chores are an unfortunate fact of life. And they’re often what stands in the way of being able to make time for ourselves when we’ve wrapped up work for the day and finally tucked the kids into bed.
However, just because you can’t eliminate all chores from your life doesn’t mean that you can’t find ways to streamline them and free up time in your schedule.
Here are some ways to reduce the amount of time you spend on chores each week:
- outsource tasks (e.g., ask your partner or an older child to take over responsibility for a task)
- use shortcuts (e.g., buy precut veggies from the grocery store or prepare and freeze meals in larger batches)
- decrease how frequently you do a chore (e.g., sweep the floor every other day instead of every day)
- hire help (e.g., pay for someone to clean your home once a week or deliver groceries to your home)
By reducing the amount of time that you spend folding laundry, scrubbing the bathroom, or cooking meals, you can create more time for yourself.
Take Advantage of Naps and Nighttime
Especially if your kids are young and need constant supervision, it can be hard to find time to yourself while your kids are awake. That’s why it pays to take advantage of naps and nighttime.
When you’re a mom, it can be a relief when your toddler goes down for a nap or your middle schooler finally goes to bed. But instead of taking some time to curl up with a good book or take a bath, what do you do? You spend the entire nap or all the time you have left before bed running around the house doing chores. And that leaves you with no time left to even relax for a few moments and catch your breath.
How can you reclaim time for self-care when your kids are asleep?
For starters, resist the temptation to head straight to your laundry list of chores every single time. It’s inevitable that you’ll have to use some of this time during the week to do chores. But try to find at least one nap or one evening each week when you can skip a chore and focus on yourself instead. Alternatively, maybe you decide to be super efficient with chores during naps so that you can keep your evenings all to yourself.
If you’re comfortably getting enough sleep at night, you can also consider waking up an hour earlier or going to bed an hour later to enjoy some time to yourself. Some moms really love getting up earlier so they have time to enjoy their morning coffee, read, or meditate before everyone else gets up. (Of course, if you’re not getting enough sleep these days, it’s probably best to not sacrifice any more of it. And besides, prioritizing sleep is self-care too!)
Practice Self-Care While You Wait
As a mom, your days are jam-packed with tasks. But many of these tasks also involve a lot of waiting. For example, you wait in the car outside your kids’ school to pick them up. You wait in the observation deck of your local community pool during your kids’ swimming lessons. And you wait in the checkout line at the grocery store.
During these times, you might have a habit of pulling out your phone to check your email or scroll your social media feeds. However, you can instead use these pockets of time to do something more restorative and relaxing for yourself.
For example, while waiting in the car to pick your kids up from school, you can meditate, do some diaphragmatic breathing, or listen to a podcast. Similarly, when you’re killing time during your kids’ swimming lessons, you can read a book, do crossword puzzles, or journal.
Identify Ways to Multitask
Ideally, you want at least some of your self-care to happen when you can give yourself your undivided attention. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t sometimes do something for yourself while taking care of your kids too. Sure, you might not be able to take a bath or go for a walk by yourself if your kids require constant supervision. But there may be activities you find enjoyable that don’t have to wait until your kids are tucked into bed.
For example, if you have an infant, you can listen to an audiobook while you feed them or get some fresh air while taking them out for a walk in the stroller. What if you have slightly older kids? Try reading or doing another quiet, portable activity while they’re playing at the park or enjoying independent play time. You can even work out with your kids by doing a carrier workout with an infant or tackling a family-friendly workout video online.
Trade Time with Other Moms
One last tip for making time for self-care is to trade time with other moms. Specifically, team up with another mom (or a larger group of moms) and decide that you’ll take turns taking care of each other’s kids while the “free” mom gets to take time out for herself.
This strategy can be especially useful if there’s something you want to do for self-care at a time when your partner or another family member isn’t available to watch your kids. (It’s also more affordable than hiring a sitter!)
Depending on what works for you and your mom friend(s), you might decide to give each other “time off” once a week, once a month, or once every few months. Even if you can swap childcare time only a few times a year, it can be a great way to free up a morning or afternoon for a special self-care treat, like getting your hair done, going for a hike, or visiting a friend you don’t get to see very often. Just knowing that you have time set aside for yourself next week or next month gives you something to look forward to and can help you get through the daily grind of being a parent.
You CAN Make Time for Yourself
Making time for self-care may be more of a challenge than it was before you had kids. But as long as you’re willing to be flexible and get creative, you absolutely can still enjoy “me time” as a mom.
The tips I’ve shared above are a great way to free up time in your week to focus on YOU. But even once you’ve made room in your schedule for yourself, it can still sometimes be a challenge to block off time for yourself and protect it from other obligations.
That’s why I’ve developed a FREE worksheet for you called the Self-Care Time Hacker.
It’ll help you block off time for self-care every day so you can feel less overwhelmed and be a more present mom for your kids.
And if you haven’t done so already, follow me on my Facebook page Vera Velini – The Assertive Happiness Coach. That way, you’ll be among the first to hear about new blog posts, resources, and master classes.
See you again soon!
Vera
P.S. Are you hesitant to set aside time for yourself because you feel bad about taking time away from your kids? Watch the video I made on why it’s actually SELFLESS to block off time for YOU in your calendar.
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