SELF-CARE: How to Connect with Your Inner Child (and Set the Stage for Healing) + FREE Strategy Session

You probably know that your experiences in childhood were important for promoting healthy physical, motor, and language development.

But before reading my recent post on inner child work, you might not have realized that your childhood years also played a big role in shaping how successfully you pursue goals, cope with challenging situations, and navigate relationships today.

That’s why recently, I’ve been highlighting how inner child work can help you get to the root of your current struggles as an adult; heal your inner wounds; and break free of barriers that have been stopping you from enjoying the happiness, life, or relationships you want.

One of the challenges with inner child work, though, is that many of us have become pretty disconnected from our inner child. Specifically, we might not know that we have an inner child. Or we might be out of touch with the difficult memories, painful emotions, fears, and limiting beliefs that make up a key part of our inner child (and that hold us back in our adult lives today).

That’s why there’s something that we need to do BEFORE we can actually use specific techniques to heal our wounded inner child: we need to CONNECT with our inner child.

Connecting with our inner child is critical for making inner child work and our overall healing journey successful.

Why?

Because to get to the core of fears, painful emotions, difficult memories, or limiting beliefs that we might be dealing with, we first need to connect with the inner child who harbors them.

Connecting with our inner child is also important for allowing us to tap into the rich knowledge and insights that we have deep within us. It allows us to recognize that we already have all the answers we need inside of us. We simply need to learn how to look within and tap into this pure inner wisdom so that we can heal and thrive.

That’s why in this blog post, I’m going to share some ways that you can connect with your inner child and set the stage for healing and integration (which is what I’ll tackle in my next blog post).

Let’s dive in!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

• Be Open

Does the idea of connecting with your child self seem a bit “out there” or even silly to you?

I can reassure you that you’re not alone and that what you’re thinking or feeling is normal. After all, most of us weren’t taught to cultivate and maintain a relationship with our inner self. So even just thinking about contacting and communicating with your inner child might make you feel awkward or uncomfortable.

The good thing is that it’s completely okay to feel awkward about connecting with your inner child or even be skeptical about it. What matters is that you keep an open mind about it.

As much as you can, embrace the idea that an inner child exists within you. And be open to connecting with and understanding this inner child, even if it feels uncomfortable in the beginning. If it helps, don’t think of it as connecting with an inner child or self. Instead, think of it as exploring your past and your relationship with it today.

Keep in mind that ANYONE can connect with their inner child. As long as you aren’t resistant to the idea of connecting with your inner child or believe that you can’t do it, you are absolutely capable of forming this connection.

• Be a Kid Again

Another way to connect with your inner child is to take some time to be a kid again.

It might seem odd that engaging in childlike play or activities could help you connect with your inner child. But the truth is that when you allow yourself to “be a kid again” for a moment, it can help you reconnect with your childhood and early experiences.

What are some ways that you can be a kid again (without embarrassing yourself in public)?

One of the easiest things that you can do is to play with kids—whether they’re your own, a family member’s, or a friend’s. So the next time that you get a chance, join in on that round of hide-and-seek, make-believe activity, or board game. Participating in childlike play can help you recall memories from your own childhood, remember some of your childhood fantasies, recall things that you used to do to cope with painful or difficult situations, and tap into your childlike sense of freedom and creativity.

What if you don’t have young kids or don’t want to play with someone else’s young kids? You can still be a kid again by watching movies or TV shows that you enjoyed as a kid, rereading a book you loved as a child, or revisiting a childhood hobby.

• Explore Childhood Photos or Mementos

Another way to jog your memory and connect with your inner child is to explore photos or mementos from your childhood.

Photos and other objects from your childhood can remind you of the emotions, fears, and beliefs that are tied to your past. So revisiting them and exploring them can help you get in touch with and understand your inner child and what she experienced when you were young.

So if you have access to them, go ahead and pull out a photo album from your childhood and flip through it. As you look at the pictures, try to remember the event or experience that’s captured in it and think about how you felt at the time. You can do a similar exercise with yearbooks, journals, diaries, or even schoolwork from your childhood.

Meaningful objects or mementos can also help you remember what your childhood was like. For example, maybe you have a box of “souvenirs” from your childhood, such as movie ticket stubs, notes from friends, and small prizes from the local fair. Or perhaps you still have a favorite stuffed animal or article of clothing from your childhood.

Whatever the childhood item is, exploring it can help you connect with your inner child by reminding you of key experiences and what life was like for you while you were growing up.

• Visualize Your Child Self

You can also use visualization to connect with your inner child and understand what life was like for her.

To do this, find a comfortable position and relax your body. Take a few moments to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. As you continue to do this, release any tension that you feel in your body.

While continuing to breathe deeply, picture yourself at the age of 5-7 years old. Really take the time to think about what your child self looks like, where she is, and what she’s doing. To help you make this visual as concrete as possible, you might remember yourself wearing a favorite outfit or holding a cherished toy.

Once you have a detailed image of your inner child in your mind, think about what she is feeling and thinking. Is she happy and confident about her self-worth? Or is she sad and unconvinced that she’s deserving of love? What does she need most right now?

Although it might be hard to answer these questions right away, considering them will help you begin to identify the memories, emotions, and beliefs that your inner child is holding on to.

• Start a Conversation 

Once you’ve connected with your inner child on some level, you might feel ready to start a conversation with her.

Keep in mind that this doesn’t have to involve literally “talking” to your inner child in your head or aloud (although you can certainly do this if you want to). You can simply talk to your inner child in writing by drafting letters to her or journaling.

When communicating with your inner child, feel free to begin the conversation in any way you’d like to. You can start by simply expressing what’s on your mind or asking your inner child specific questions.

Whichever approach you choose, be sure to listen to your inner child. Pay attention to not only what she is saying but also how she is saying it. Try to pick up on how your inner child is feeling and anything she might be trying to communicate indirectly.

You might feel nervous about what your child will say and remind you of, especially if she is wounded by some painful experiences. And if you do, know that it’s normal to feel this way. If it helps, remember that the goal of talking to your inner child is to connect with her and establish a bond so that you can gain insight into the experiences, emotions, fears, and beliefs that are at the root of your current challenges.

And most importantly, be compassionate and loving towards this part of yourself that’s been struggling or is hurting now.

The First Step to Healing Is Connecting with “Little You”

Inner child work can play a pivotal role in helping us overcome the struggles that we’re dealing with and create the life or relationships that we’ve been longing for.

But before we can delve deep into healing and integration through inner child work, we first need to connect with our inner child.

Although they aren’t the only ways to connect with your inner child, the five strategies that I share above are simply ways to establish a connection with “little you” and set the stage for integration and healing. And what I hope they show you is that connecting with your inner child doesn’t have to involve doing anything that’s completely “out there” or bizarre. In many cases, in fact, you can connect with your inner child by doing activities that you might do anyway in your everyday life and simply approach them in a specific and intentional way.

Of course, connecting with your inner child and confronting the difficult memories, negative emotions, and limiting beliefs linked to her can be challenging and potentially even painful. So when you’re connecting with your inner child and exploring your past, you might find it helpful to work with a therapist who can guide you through the process.

That’s why this October, I’ll be accepting a few new clients into my one-on-one Heal Your Inner Child program. If you’re wondering what it would be like to have one-on-one support while doing inner child work and whether my program would be right for you, I’d like to invite you to schedule a free strategy session with me.

And if you haven’t done so already, follow me on my Facebook page Vera Velini – The Assertive Happiness Coach. That way, you’ll be among the first to hear about new blog posts, resources, and courses.

Until next time!

Vera

SHARE THIS: