Taking Care of ME: How to Amplify Your Motivation to Do What Matters + FREE Self-Love Weekly Planner
Whether you’ve written it down in a journal, shared it on social media, or just kept it close to your heart, I know that there’s something in life that you want to achieve or create.
For example, maybe you want to start dating again after taking time away from relationships to heal after a difficult breakup.
Or maybe you want to finally start your own business after spending years working for other people and helping them achieve their dreams (but not your own).
Getting closer to living the life you want does wonders for you. After all, when you’re living a life that aligns with your goals and desires, you’re more likely to wake up in the morning feeling happy, excited, and fulfilled. And when you’re radiating these positive emotions, it doesn’t just make YOUR life awesome. It also spills over into your relationship and allows you to be a more loving, open, and present with others you love.
But even if you know what you want, how do you get closer to achieving or creating it?
Well, as I’ve mentioned in Posts #1 and #2 of my Taking Care of ME series, it’s important to first build your love quotient and learn how to manage negative emotions.
After all, it’s hard to focus on building the life you want if you don’t love yourself enough to focus on your goals and desires in the first place. And even if you practice self-love on a regular basis, it’s hard to make steady progress toward achieving your dreams if negative emotions like stress, anxiety, and anger are distracting you and sucking up your energy.
But let’s say that you’ve worked on building your capacity for self-love and have learned how to navigate negative emotions effectively. What if you’re still having a hard time making progress toward building the life you want because it seems hard to do and you’ve been struggling to find the motivation to tackle it?
In other words, maybe you have every intention of prioritizing your love life and putting yourself out there to find a new partner. You’ve even purchased subscriptions to a few online dating platforms. But it’s been weeks now, and you still haven’t spent even a minute setting up your online dating profiles.
Or maybe you decided that you wanted to start making healthy meals at home instead of always relying on takeout. You’ve even gone to the grocery store and bought ingredients to cook with. But because you’re always exhausted after a long day of work, you still haven’t made dinner from scratch once.
If this sounds familiar, here’s the first thing you need to know: It’s completely normal to feel unmotivated from time to time. It doesn’t mean that you’re lazy or that you won’t be able to achieve the goal or build the life you want. Even I have times when I don’t feel like working on something or want to sit around and do nothing. (This is true even when there’s something that I really want to achieve!)
Fortunately, you don’t need to sit around and wait for inspiration to strike. If you haven’t felt particularly motivated so far this year, you don’t need to assume that it’s just “not your year” and that you need to wait for something in your life or in the world to change.
Instead, YOU have the power to start boosting your motivation TODAY so that you can make steady progress toward your goals and achieve your dreams.
Here are some of my favorite secrets for boosting your motivation to do or achieve what truly matters to you:
Check in With Your Body
You probably think of motivation as something that’s primarily mental. So you might be thinking, “How on earth would thinking about my body boost my motivation???”
Well, motivation is strongly linked to how energized you feel. If you feel completely depleted of energy because you’re not eating well or you haven’t been getting enough sleep, it’s going to be pretty hard to feel motivated to take the steps you need to make a big, meaningful change in your life.
So before you start trying to boost your motivation, check in with your body. Have you been nourishing it with healthy food? Hydrating frequently? Getting enough sleep? If you answered “no” to any of these, start by addressing your basic physical needs first. After all, it’ll be much easier to hit the gym regularly or put together an online dating profile that showcases who you really are when your belly is full and your body is well-rested.
Give Yourself a Fresh Start
Why do so many people create New Year’s resolutions? Because the beginning of a new year feels like a fresh start. In fact, according to science, it’s a time when we feel like we can disconnect from past failures while also thinking of the big picture of what we really want to accomplish. And as a result, it gives us a boost in motivation.
But here’s the thing: January 1 is a pretty arbitrary date when it comes to giving yourself a fresh start. It might feel like a more obvious fresh start because it’s the first day of the year. But there’s nothing stopping you from making February 21, April 14, or September 27 the day you give yourself a fresh start. You simply need to decide for yourself that you’re going to make it YOUR fresh start.
You can do this by writing yourself a note in which you commit to giving yourself a fresh start. For example, you might say, “You know, I’ve been talking for a long time about leaving my job and starting my own business so that I can do what I love and have more time for my relationship and the things that matter to me. Today’s the day that I’m going to stop simply talking or dreaming about it and start taking steps (even if they’re baby ones) toward making it happen.”
As long as you believe that today (or any day) can be your fresh start, you can make it happen.
Do Less
This one might seem counterintuitive at first, but here’s why it works: When you’re spending a huge chunk of your time doing things you don’t enjoy or that aren’t aligned with your desires (e.g., being part of the parents association at your kid’s school), you have less energy to focus on the things that will bring you closer to the life you want.
That’s why you can boost your motivation by eliminating activities that don’t align with your true self or by delegating tasks you don’t enjoy to someone else. For example, if you don’t enjoy cooking and would like to have more time to spend on nurturing your relationship or finding a new partner, you might decide to use a meal delivery service. This way, you can stop spending time and energy on creating a grocery list, going grocery shopping, cooking meals, and washing dishes. And instead, you can direct that time and energy toward building a relationship that makes you happy.
Of course, there are some tasks that you may not love but still have to do (e.g., paying bills and taking out the trash). But there are probably activities or tasks that you can delegate or remove from your plate altogether.
Start Small
When a goal or dream seems huge, the very idea of trying to achieve it can feel overwhelming. And that feeling of being overwhelmed is enough to kill your motivation.
So instead of focusing on the overall or final goal that you want to achieve, start small. Specifically, set a mini goal or identify the first step you need to take toward your goal.
For example, if you’d like to be in a new relationship, don’t fixate on trying to find a new partner. Instead, focus on the first step you need to take—like joining an online dating platform. Then, once you complete that step, focus on the next one—like setting up your online dating profile.
Starting small boosts your motivation in two ways.
First, when you start small and focus on just the first mini goal or task, you make the action you need to take feel more manageable. And when something feels more manageable, it’s easier to feel motivated to do it.
Second, individual tasks or mini goals are quicker and easier to achieve. This allows you to start experiencing success sooner. And when you experience success, it motivates you to continue on your journey toward achieving your goal.
Focus On Your Accomplishments
When we’re working toward a goal, we often measure our success by focusing on how far we are from achieving our ultimate goal rather than by focusing on the progress we’ve already made. This makes it hard to feel motivated because it makes you think about what you’re still lacking and all the work you still need to do to get what you want.
To boost your motivation, change your mindset to focus on what you’ve already accomplished. For example, if you’ve been looking for love but haven’t found the right partner yet, don’t focus on the fact that you’re still single. Think about the fact that you’ve found the courage to re-enter the dating scene, go on some dates, and put yourself out there again. Those are big steps! Give yourself a pat on the back for getting that far!
Keep an Eye On the Big Picture
Although you don’t want to fixate on your ultimate goal, it’s important to keep it in mind. This will boost your motivation by reminding you of what you’re ultimately working toward and WHY.
For example, because it can take time, energy, and even some heartache over months or years to find the right partner, remind yourself that you’re working toward a life where you have a companion who makes you feel safe, supported, and loved. This will keep you motivated when you’re getting ready for yet another first date after a long day at work or dipping back into the dating pool when a new potential relationship fizzles out.
A great way to keep your eye on the big picture is to create a visual. For example, take a sheet of paper and use a pen to divide it up into four quadrants. Let each quadrant represent today, this week, this year, and your entire life. Then, identify something you want to achieve and create a goal for each quadrant that’s related to it.
If you’re looking for a new relationship, for instance, this is what your quadrants might look like:
- Today: Join an online dating platform
- This week: Create an online dating profile
- This year: Initiate contact with X people and accept invitations for contact from Y people
- My life: Enjoy living with a partner who loves me and embraces me for who I am
Of course, you can update your goals each day and let them naturally evolve over time depending on where you’re at in your journey and how your priorities shift.
Make Today the Day You Start Doing What Matters Most
You might tell yourself that you haven’t made progress toward conquering your goal because you’re too busy and don’t have time. And although it’s true that you probably have a lot on your plate right now, I’m betting that the bigger issue is that you just don’t feel sufficiently motivated right now.
As I said at the beginning of this post, that’s totally okay and normal. But instead of waiting for inspiration to suddenly strike, exercise your power to boost your motivation yourself.
If you’re not sure where to start, use the secrets I’ve shared above to amplify your motivation and start building the life you deserve. After all, you owe it to yourself to create the life or relationship that truly brings joy to your heart.
Of course, it’s hard to work toward building the life you want if you don’t know how to prioritize yourself and value your desires and needs. In other words, the first step toward doing what really matters to you is loving yourself.
That’s why I’ve created a FREE self-love weekly planner for you. It’ll help you get to know and take care of yourself so that you’re in the right psychological and spiritual space to create the life that’s right for you.
And if you haven’t done so already, follow me on my Facebook page Vera Velini – The Assertive Happiness Coach. That way, you’ll be among the first to hear about new blog posts, resources, and master classes.
See you again soon!
Vera
P.S. Motivation helps you make progress toward creating the life you want. But it’s not the only mental power that can help you on your journey. That’s why if you really want to set yourself up for success, it’s helpful to set intentions and build self-discipline too.
Check out this video I made to learn how.
P.P.S. Are you ready to start immediately and need an Action Plan? I’ve got you covered. Download it HERE!
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