Welcome to Vera’s Blog!

If you’re a parent, I want you to take a quick trip down memory lane and answer this question for me:

Before you had kids, was there something that your parents did that you swore you would never do with your own kids?

For example, maybe you told yourself that you would never ignore your kids’ requests, let stress about your own problems take attention away from them, compare them to siblings or cousins, or discourage them from pursuing their interests.

But now that you’re a parent, you might be realizing that as much as you told yourself that you would never be the kind of parent or caregiver that your mom, dad, or grandmother was, the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.

Recently, I’ve chatted with you about attachment styles and how they affect your current close relationships, such as your romantic and non-romantic relationships with other adults.

But what if you’re the parent of a kid or adolescent? How does your attachment style influence...

In my last few posts, I’ve been telling you all about why self-care is so important for moms.

But I’ve also acknowledged some of the challenges moms face when trying to take time out for themselves.

Specifically, I’ve done deep dives on the guilt moms feel when they try to make time for themselves. And I’ve addressed the tricky task of actually finding time in the day that you can spend on yourself.

The reality, though, is that even if you’ve done a lot of inner work to tame mom guilt and reflect on how you’re using your time day-to-day, it isn’t always possible to get away to the spa for a day or go on an afternoon hike by yourself (as nice as that kind of freedom would be!).

Of course, you absolutely should try to find ways to get out of your house for self-care every now and then.

But it’s also helpful to discover activities you can do right at home—while your kids are napping, doing homework, or talking to a friend. After...

Are you a mom who struggles to make time for herself? If you are, I can assure you that you’re NOT alone.

When you scroll social media feeds, it’s easy to get the impression that other moms have it all figured out—they know how to take care of their kids, keep their homes looking like a magazine cover, and still find time to do their hair or give themselves a pedicure.

But from working with hundreds of moms over the years, I can tell you that what you see on Facebook or Instagram usually doesn’t represent reality. Instead, whether they’re working moms or stay-at-home moms, most moms struggle to take time out for themselves.

In my previous post, I talked about why mom guilt holds moms back from taking time out of their days for themselves. (I also shared tips on how to tame mom guilt so you can make time for yourself WITHOUT feeling guilty.)

However, in that post, I also briefly mentioned another major barrier to self-care for moms: time.

After all, when...

In my previous post, I told you why self-care isn’t optional even when you have a family.

But even though you now know about the benefits of making time for yourself when you have kids, a partner, or aging parents to take care of, you might still struggle to actually make it happen.

Why?

Time might be one obstacle. After all, when you’re caring for kids or other family members, it’s harder to find time for yourself.

But when you have other people to take care of, there’s another barrier to self-care that can be an even tougher beast to tackle: GUILT.

Anyone in a caregiving role can feel guilty about taking time for themselves and tending to their own needs. But women are especially likely to struggle with guilt around self-care. After all, as women, we’re constantly surrounded by messages that tell us that our role on Earth is to take care of other people, even if this comes at the expense of meeting our own basic needs.

As I told you last week, though,...

Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients and students. So I feel pretty confident about saying that most people enjoy taking a break from the daily grind of everyday life and doing something they find fun (whether that’s reading a good book, going for a hike, or training for a half marathon).

And I would even say that most people have at least some idea that self-care is good for them.

So why do a lot of people take care of themselves less than they should?

Because they have so many duties and responsibilities on their plate every day. And for many people, taking time for themselves may not seem as pressing as most of these other tasks.

That’s why prioritizing self-care can be a really challenging thing to do—no matter who you are and what your life looks like.

But it can be especially difficult if you’re a mom.

After all, if you’re a mom, you probably grew up being told that moms always put their kids first—even if it means...